Matrescence: understanding the emotional transition into motherhood

Many mums describe the transition into motherhood as far more complex than they ever expected. Alongside the love and joy, there can be moments of overwhelm, shifts in identity, and emotional ups and downs that feel difficult to explain. If things feel different since you became a mother, matrescence describes the emotional, psychological and physical transition you’re moving through.

What is matrescence?

Matrescence describes the physical, emotional, hormonal, and social transformation that happens when a woman becomes a mother. Much like adolescence, matrescence is a significant developmental stage. It unfolds over time, influencing how you feel about yourself, your relationships, and your role as a mum.

It isn’t a diagnosis or a problem to fix.It’s a normal and often unspoken part of the motherhood journey.

How matrescence explains maternal mental health

Many mums assume they’re ‘not coping’ or ‘failing’ when they experience strong or unexpected emotions. But matrescence helps explain common experiences such as:

• changes in identity

• emotional overwhelm

• postnatal anxiety

• shifts in relationships

• feeling disconnected from your old self

• struggling with the mental load

• adapting to new expectations and routines

Understanding matrescence can reduce shame and help you recognise that these feelings are a natural response to a major life transition.

The emotional impact of matrescence

Matrescence often brings a wide mix of emotions. You might feel:

• deep love and connection

• exhaustion

• worry about whether you’re doing things ‘right’

• guilt for needing time alone

• grief for the life you had before

• or a combination of these feelings throughout the day

These emotional shifts don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. They reflect the huge mental and emotional adjustment that motherhood requires.

Identity and the transition into motherhood

One of the biggest challenges of matrescence is the change in identity. Many mums describe feeling:

• unsure of who they are now

• torn between their old life and their new role

• disconnected from their previous confidence, interests, or routines

These feelings are incredibly common. Becoming a mother doesn’t replace your identity - it reshapes it. That process takes time, patience, and support.

Why matrescence is often overlooked

Society tends to present motherhood as intuitive and joyful, but this narrative can leave little space for the emotional complexity many mums experience. When matrescence isn’t talked about, mums can feel isolated in:

• the mental load

• relationship changes

• exhaustion

• expectations to be calm, capable, and grateful at all times

• the pressure to ‘bounce back’

Naming matrescence allows mums to talk openly about the realities of motherhood, without judgment.

How counselling can support you through matrescence

Counselling can be a valuable source of support during matrescence. It offers a calm, confidential space to:

• explore your changing identity

• understand overwhelming emotions

• manage postnatal anxiety

• talk openly about motherhood without fear of being judged

• reconnect with yourself

• build confidence and self-compassion

As an integrative counsellor in St Albans offering in person and online counselling across the UK, I support mums who want to understand these shifts and feel more grounded in themselves as they adjust to motherhood.

You don’t have to navigate matrescence alone

Matrescence is a journey - one that is powerful, emotional, and often challenging. If you’re finding this transition difficult, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human, adapting to one of the biggest changes of your life.

If you’d like to talk

If you would like support with the emotional and identity changes of motherhood, please get in touch to explore how therapy can support your wellbeing during matrescence.